Hey Google! Sunset Your Unnatural Oral Action or I’ll Nofollow You

sunsetting*

Do you remember the days when “manual action” was something desirable and NSFW?

Listening to Google spokespeople turns more bizarre with the years. They have come up with their own language to hide the sour facts of penalties, faulty algorithms and obsolete tools. Believe me! By now you need help to understand hidden meanings by Google.

In the past I created a dictionary for Google Newspeak, that is made up Google terms meant to hide negative messages.

Just consider a few examples from this years’ Google Reader fiasco. The official Google announcements were all very positive when it comes to wording.

 

Sunsetting

The Google Reader demise was all about

Only nice things aren’t they? Who wouldn’t want to retire and watch a beautiful sunset amidst power and cleanliness? Sunsetting has been not the most important euphemism they used this time. Google had already “sunset” Google Wave. The much hyped tool has been quickly abandoned after a failed start.

Google didn’t want to remind people that they are sunsetting all the time while the sun never rises again on the affected services.

Compare these words to those used by more legitimate sources:

They are pretty matter of fact aka rather objective. Now what the hell am I trying to tell you in this post? Let’s take a step back and cite someone who knows more about language than me. I wanted to cite Chomsky, a linguist or Ginsberg, a poet but I finally decided to cite a popular writer.

Writer Gore Vidal has explained the corruption of language:

“As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too. Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it. Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests.”

So the correct and straightforward usage of words is something that really touches the foundations of our society! In contrast I always have to think how Google engineers are touching themselves when it comes to “manual action”.

 

Killing in the Name of

Many more publications have been using the negative word kill though which reflects the true nature of Google’s move to “power down” Reader:

Now that Google Reader is dead, the Google word choice is more down to earth. They say the data gets “deleted” while the service got “discontinued”. So Google can be actually matter of fact when they want to. In the meantime their public relations department and lawyers are working hard though to limit their liability for any damages they inflict on user and webmasters.

 

Natural Links Growing on Trees

Of course it’s not just Google Reader. We hear daily about unnatural links for example. A completely nonsensical term as links, hyperlinks are part of the virtual Web based completely on technology. They can not by definition be natural. They don’t grow on trees at all.

 

Hot Oral Action

oral-action

So when you listen to Google’s hot oral action as of late you often get reminded of British writer George Orwell. Ignorance is bliss isn’t it? So the less you understand of what Google PR puppets tell you the better for Google but the worse for you. When something is unnatural, it’s their use of language though.

 

Time to Nofollow Google

I think I will nofollow Google from now on. I don’t mean unfollow. I mean nofollow. It means I will cripple all the links pointing to Google so that they don’t count as endorsements. This is what Google requires from webmasters.

Google wants you to castrate all your links you have built.

Guest postings, widgets, infographics are crap according to Google. No matter the quality of course. According to Google links from these types of content are worthless per se. Yes, they are from their perspective. They don’t earn any money by them. They only need your unique, original content to put ads above it.

Google does not earn a cent from your links. The contrary is the case. The fewer links there are the better for Google by now. They can monopolize the Web even better. Of course they have their own walled garden type of Web in the making, it’s called Google+ among others.

Google wants to link to content itself so you need them while webmasters linking to other sites are their competition.

Just think of shopping search engines that have been mostly wiped out during the so called Panda update. It was no coincidence that Google introduced a paid only version of Google Shopping shortly thereafter.

I want to tell you something dear Google, I will use your own language so that you get the message: sunset your unnatural oral action or I’ll nofollow you. Ideally you stop all of your unnatural action, not just the oral one. In any case:

are great search engines!

 

* Creative Commons image by Mike Behnken

 

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